I was broken, fragile. It was spring of 2016- last year to be precise. I had been dealing with a great amount of pain, stress and unnecessary. But in some sort of weird, way I been craving and missing that creativity that feeling of doing something that made me feel alive again. Photoshoots.
My trust in photographers in LA has long faded….my trust in men has also faded more than anything. I met someone on the Internet. I promised I wouldn’t get mixed up in those kind of things, it’s only a call for trouble. Yet maybe in my thoughts it was harmless. It was…… so I met him at the nearest mall, only to decide on a coffee shop. He was tall, very handsome; my God he was so….yeah. Ok. He had this black tee on with black jacket and black pants. His hair was a bit longer in the middle, some sort of fancy Mohawk. I can’t explain….I wanted to know more, who he is, what’s his story? I was willing to talk about mine…..and so it began:
one coffee, another one…and I’ve become addicted….to, coffee ☕️
I’ve began to meet with him more, on rare and random occasions. Maybe many times I’ve found reasons or excuses to see him again. He made me feel this….this warmth. I feel safe. Gosh it has been so long I felt that way. So coffee dates became Photoshoots….and Photoshoots became, well. Let me explain.
He had to leave the county for a week. I was at the edge of my seat wondering if and when he’ll get back…more-if. I was anticipating his return. The way he hugged me, the way he laughs and jokes. He’s a….he’s a really special man.
Soon as he returned I found that I wanted to be around him more….more like everyday. Do I sound stupid? Did I scare myself ? I’ve just gotten out of a really messed up relationship. The fact of the matter is that I wasn’t scared. When you truly want something and when you’re happy around someone, Fear should never exist.
Today, a year later. I sit next to this man, everyday. I ask him what he’d like for dinner, I surprise him with sweet breakfast in bed, he takes care of me, he protects me, he is ….he’s next to me….even as I write this.